The Lesson
by SuperGroverAway
Summary: The oldest Corduroy child undergoes a baptism by fire as she successfully learns who to handle certain local wildlife...perhaps a little too well.


"Hey! No, stoppit!"

With an annoyed groan, the eight-year-old marched over to intervene in the sandbox for the umpteenth time. Her brothers growled like a pair of dogs as they started wrestling with one another yet again. Like all the other impromptu tussles, this match proved to be short lived as the lanky girl shoved her arms between the two and pried them apart.

"Stoppit! C'mon, don't-" She stopped mid-scold when she heard the loud, snuffling snort. The girl looked up and met the gaze of a walking mountain of fur and muscle. The bear grunted again as it plodded from out of the forest and curiously ambled towards them.

Having grown up in a small town surrounded by the wilderness, Wendy had seen more than her fair share of wildlife, and that included a black bear or two. But never had she been so close before, or been without the protection of a wall with a tightly closed window to peer out of. For a moment her fright rooted her to the spot.

But as the beast neared, she remembered the two little boys still playing no more than a foot away, and a shriek of panic ripped from her throat. A moment later her startled brothers were yelping as she took them each by the arm and almost dragged them as she bolted into the cabin.

" _MAMA_!" She instinctively yelled as she slammed the door shut behind them, but no one came. It was with great dismay that the child recalled that her heavily pregnant mother was out running errands. For the moment it looked like it was only her and two very confused toddlers. The girl looked into their wide eyes and wasted no time herding them into the bathroom.

"Wendy?" The oldest of the two squeaked.

"Stay here!" She ordered before closing the door shut. A sudden burst of commotion outside made her jump. Without a second thought she darted into the kitchen, tore open one of the drawers she could reach and began hurriedly searching for a makeshift weapon, just to be safe.

There was an audible creak as the back door opened wide, followed by a heavy footstep. The child's heart skipped a beat. It was coming in.

She dug out the rolling pin.. Yelling as ferociously as she could, the girl boldly charged out swinging. There was a thud as her makeshift weapon made contact with the mammoth beast standing in the doorway. It was only after she furiously whacked one of its beefy legs several times more did she notice that it wasn't coated with fur, but with rough denim. She looked up into her father's eyes with a start.

"Manly" Dan Corduroy still needed a few seconds to finish catching his breath. He still hadn't even dropped the axe he had been busily chopping away at a nearby oak with. His trusty tool still remained clutched in a knuckle-white grip until he breathlessly demanded, "Where're your brothers?"

"B-bathroom." Wendy squeaked. He dropped his blade and darted off with surprising speed for his size. When he his found his two boys shaken but unscathed, he gasped in relief before gladly doling out a rare hug. Although he was practically testosterone personified, that didn't change the fact that he was also a father.

"It's gone." The massive lumberjack bluntly assured. His crunch of an embrace lasted for only a few seconds, like most of his behind-closed-doors displays of affection, but as usual it was all his rough-and-tumble boys needed. By the time he let go they were all smiles again, and happily toddled off to play without a second thought, though not without shooting their pushy older sister annoyed looks.

Wendy was too busily guiltily fidgeting to put them in their place with a fierce stare. When her father turned to face her, she couldn't even last a moment before blurting out, "I-I'm sorry!"

Dan cocked his head, shot her an incredulous look, then burst out with mighty guffaws as loud as cannonfire. "Sorry?"

His embarrassed little girl nodded. "I didn't mean to hit you! I thought you were-"

She was quickly drowned out by another wave of gruff chuckles. "Your old man's fine."

"I know." She sulkily admitted. It took a lot to make her own bear of a father even flinch. Even still, she wasn't feeling all that proud for attacking him. "But I-"

"Listen." He bent over and interrupted, keeping it straight and to the point. "I'm not always gonna to be right there for you and your brothers. And so if somethin' like this happens again, then I want you to do just like you did today."

"Really?" Wendy chirped. "Same thing?"

"Yup, same thing." He repeated back with a firm nod. "You have the right idea already. When your family's in trouble, it's up to you to make sure everyone's safe, then go and show whoever's messing with you how a Corduroy takes care of things."

In case she had any lingering doubts, he got down on one knee and buried her head underneath a pie-plate hand as he affectionately tousled her hair. "You did good today, Wendy. And I'm countin' on you to keep this up."

This proud assurance was all she needed. A smile quickly sprouted on her freckled face. "I can keep it up! I can keep it up!"

"Good!" Her father grinned and pounded a ham-sized fist into an equally meaty palm. "You're gonna take whatever comes at you, right?"

"Yeah!" She excitedly copied him.

"Who's gettin' past you?" Dan demanded.

"Nothing!" The girl said defiantly.

"Who's gettin' at your family?" He continued to pump her up.

"Nobody!" The child shot back defiantly. "Nobody's getting at my family!"

"Who's never gonna turn tail and run?"

" _ME_!" Wendy yelled. At this point he just started roaring at her, and she returned fire with the fiercest howl that she could. The mere-eight-year-old now looked like she wanted to take on a pack of wolves, and her father couldn't be any from ear to ear, he picked up his scrappy daughter with ease.

"Now who's ready to learn how to scare off a bear? Who's ready?"

"I wanna learn! Me!" She declared loudly as she could. The enormous lumberjack rumbled with fresh laughter as he popped her onto his shoulders and ambled off.

"Now that's my girl…"

* * *

"...All right, there we go."

Stan grinned as he stepped back to observe his handiwork. The new sign loudly told the world that for one week only, all Mystery Shack T-Shirts were on sale for sixteen dollars apiece. What it of course failed to mention was the fact that they usually sold for twelve dollars each. The master scammer rubbed his hands and chuckled with shameless delight.

"Ha! Perfect. The rubes are gonna be falling head over themselves for...hey, what the..."

A metallic clang had caught his attention. He turned, and only a few yards away a furry behemoth was hungrily rooting through the garbage cans. The animal glanced up and snuffled curiously.

In his rush to retreat back inside, Stan tripped and fell. Startled by the sudden movement, the bear raised its hackles and let out a growl. The old man struggled like mad to clamber back to his feet.

"H-hey! Hey!" He yelled. "Somebody! BEAR!"

The bell chime was almost ripped off as a flannel blur rocketed out of the gift shop. Wendy took one look at the large animal, and without a moment's delay threw up her arms as far as they could stretch above her head. As she made herself look even taller than she was, the teen yelled repeatedly at the startled creature. The illusion of height did just the trick. Not wanting any trouble, the bear turned and galloped right back into the surrounding woods.

"You okay?" Wendy asked as she helped Stan back to his feet.

"Y-yeah. i'm fine." The old man was now nursing some badly wounded pride. "I was just...would've got him myself, but I...um….you know, with the things. Anyway-"

"Wendy?" Someone called confusedly from back inside the gift shop. Stan reentered the Shack to find a curious sight. His great-nephew, great-niece and great-niece's pet pig were all safely slung up on top of one of the ceiling rafters, and clearly not at all by choice as made clear by the confusion stamped over their faces.

"Ooohhh." Wendy grimaced. The last thirty seconds had been such a blur that she couldn't even recall tossing them all up there. "I'm sorry, guys!"

"It's okay!" Dipper said kindly, even though he didn't even know what he was even forgiving her for. As he clung on grimly with his noodle arms he cleared his throat and asked the redhead politely, albeit awkwardly, "So...a little help, please?"

"Yeah, gimme a sec!" The teenager fetched the stepladder from where it lay propped in a corner of the shop.

"It's okay Wen-Wen, take your time! I actually wanna try something." Mabel took it all in her usual optimistic stride. The little tween hooked her legs on the beam and dangled upside down. "Huh. So this is what it's like being a bat. I can see the appeal in this!"

"Oh for the love of…" Stan clapped his forehead and groaned. It was too early in the day for nonsense. As he, "Kid, what the heck is this?"

" Just...trying to keep it up?" Wendy couldn't help but immediately crack up at her own ridiculous but honest answer. Soon the teen was practically cackling as she helped her friends back down.

"Keep what up?" Demanded her very confused boss.

"Y'know, the drill." She jokingly explained around her laughter. "First you make sure your important stuff's safe…"


End file.
